You need to be exceptional in Essex
Photo Advert #4320574
Message
OK guys. Many of you have seen our ad. and we’ve obviously had a myriad of replies from the limp to the bizarre.
We’ve spoken to quite a few of you and to be honest we’re either in shock or in awe.
We’ve decided to step back and start again with much more clarity on what we’re after, even though some of tick all of our boxes.
You have to bear with us because this our first time at this and we’ve learnt from your responses that we really do have to be specific. So, here’s an update.
We don’t want to see your shaved anus proudly on display and our criteria is rigid. If you don’t tick ALL of our boxes you are wasting your time messaging us. It’s not hard to grasp, but it seems beyond the majority.
I’ll try and explain our criteria and specify what we’re after.
Criteria (slightly changed)
• 25 to 35 years old
• Male
• Straight acting bisexual
• Dark haired
• Not a “geezer” (you’ll know if you are)
• A 5 to 7 inch cock (not 8 and not 9)
• Happy to do the following with a male; kiss, suck cock, receive cock sucking, lots of touchy feely, obey instructions
• Happy to do the following with a female; kiss, go down, fuck, obey rules, obey instructions
• Follow our simple agenda (below)
Looks
• From Charley’s point of view; Brad Pitt
• From Steve’s point of view; Richard Gere
• In reality, if you’re clean-cut, slim and not ugly (everyone knows if there are or not), we’re happy
• Slim to muscular (if you’re over 14 stone or under 9, save your keyboard)
Agenda
• Have webcam communication
• Meet for a drink
• Go home
• Meet for a second drink
• Follow the STRICT theme below
• Leave when asked
Not rocket science so far but it seems to confuse the majority.
Theme
• Knock on the door
• Met by Steve at the door and taken upstairs
• Undressed and blindfolded by Steve (with a smidge of foreplay)
• Led into room blindfold
• Follow clear instructions to perform oral, stroking and general touchy feely on both of us silently
• Never speak, just obey silently
• Have full PROTECTED sex with Charley while Steve play with both of you.
• Play with Steve while Charley plays with both you.
• Play with Steve and Charley while they play with each other.
• Do it all again.
• And again.
• Then do it regularly every week or so.
Your response
• Any one liners will not even be looked at, so don’t waste your time.
• We had a silly amount of responses last time, so to filter things down, you response has to; get us excited, be interesting, have face and full body pics.
We do realise that all of the above is a tall order and that it’ll be a while until we find someone that can meet the criteria, but that’s what we want.
In return we can promise a wild night that you’ll never forget with a sexy couple who really want to push the boundaries. We just know how we want to start with and nothing else will do.
We really can’t emphasise enough how RIGID the above criteria is. If you don’t tick every single box, don’t waste your time.
Sorry for being so clinical, but in return, we will blow your mind.
We suspect our inbox will drop from 10 a day to 1 a week, but at least it’ll be the right one (hopefully).
We are going to do this and it could be you if you can tick all the boxes. If you don’t meet one though, you might as well not meet any, so save you time.
We look forward to the most thrilling responses :)
C&S
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