Always Up For It, Are You?

Photo Advert #434476

Message

We're an easy going mid forties (which means our bodies are showing signs the battle scars of life), articulate, professional couple who've been into this scene for a couple of years now. The female is very bi and the male is 100% str8 and fully intends to stay that way. We've met some great people and had lots of fun (thanks guys and girls), but encountered plenty of timewasters too (you know who you are and if you're not sure if you qualify under that heading don't panic we're more than happy to name and shame you. We're looking for relaxed horny fun, we're totally mad and enjoy a good laugh as those of you who've met us have found out, quite often until the early hours of the morning.

We enjoy plenty of girl/girl fun, full swap if EVERYONE's happy. We have no hidden agenda and we don't play mind games, we just like to go with the flow. We both like a glass of wine or several but won't drink and drive that's why our profile says that we don't travel, so please don't ask us to, but we're more than happy to accommodate overnight at our home if that helps.
We like our playmates to be of a similar build to ourselves this is not meant to offend but we're not looking for bbw's. The female is only interested in females who know that they're bi or who are sure they want to try as she doesn't get much fun out of 'would-be' bi fems who are either doing this to please their partner (which in our opinion is just plain wrong) or who just change their minds at the last minute. Guys, please don't tell us that you're sure your partner would be up for it if you asked her 'she won't get real - end of story. We're not into pain or watersports and safe sex is essential.

We don't want to spend hours chatting online when it's clear it's leading nowhere, if you're into fantasy sex there are plenty of websites that will cater for that and where you can have all the cyber-sex your little hearts desire, but please don't waste our time we're not into that.

We'd like to chat with people who are prepared to convince us early on that they are for real, and early phone call between the girls is essential and a recent photo, after all there needs to be some attraction)!

Please be realistic too, if you're 100 miles away we know you won't travel all the way down to Hampshire (for those whose geography isn't up to scratch it's on the South coast of England, any further South and you'd be in the English Channel) as we've already said we won't travel for first meets). If we've arranged a meet, please do us the courtesy of at least letting us know that you've bottled out (email or text is fine). No contact at all is basically just bad mannered; oh and try to make your excuse original to at least give us a good laugh to makeup for a wasted evening, we've heard all the usual ones including the ones about sudden illness/death of family or pets, wrong time of the month, all of which seem to occur at the last minute - funny that eh!!! sorry to be even more cynical but we rarely believe them.

Now, too all you lovely single (or wish they were) guys - thanks for all the compliments about the female's boobs, but flattery really won't get you anywhere. The female isn't interested in the size of your assets but might be interested if the whole package looks good (for those unable to understand this here we go in plain English “ cock shots just don't do it for her!!!). If the female is interested in you, she'll let you know so don't contact us, now which bit of that didn't you understand!! (oh and yes, we're extremely sarcastic and extremely cynical!!).

Well, that just about covers everything you're likely to want to know about us and if you've read all of that and we still haven't put you off please get in touch. If it has put you off then stay cool and have fun anyway.